“Unhand me you weird looking peasants!” Ace snapped at them, which honestly did not surprise me at all considering his awful temper.
“You were trespassing in our lands.” A large muscled guy said, which I assume is the chief. His skin was very tan and he has a bunch of tribal red and black tattoos all over his body. He was actually the very first man who met PRINCE Ace’s glare directly, which made me think if he has a death wish.
“Sir, with all due respect, we were just passing by. We’re lost. And our friend is missing.” Nate says and nudged Ren. “Help me out here!” He hissed at him.
Ren nodded and looked at the man not too happily and scrunched his face up. “Listen, pal. Our friend is missing and if anything happens to her, I am going to hold you responsible!” He said and added a growl at the end.
I was glad. I am really glad that they are alive and well. Maybe I can convince the people to let them go and we can all talk to them in peace.
“Speaking of that girl, I will bury her alive if I ever see her!” Ace added.
“You two are seriously not helping.” Nate groaned with a shake of his head. “I am worried about Rose too. I wonder if she’s still alive.”
“Yeah.” Ren agreed. “She is very clumsy and could be in big trouble without us.”
“Well of course! That royal klutz is a pain in the ass! Stupid incompetent fool.” Ace screamed and started to struggle against the ropes.
Very slowly, I backed away towards the tent to disappear from their sight. The curtains swallowed me until I was safely inside and hidden in the tent. I was biting my nails aggressively. I can’t believe it! They think that I am so incompetent that I would need them to save me. How dare they.
I will show them incompetence!
I puffed my chest up proudly and turned around to slap the stupid curtains away and finally revealed my presence. The beads from the curtains jiggled loudly making a few people turn to my direction.
“It is her! The beautiful Goddess!” Someone yelled.
I saw Nate perk up and turned his head around with a huge beam on his face. “Beautiful Goddess!? WHERE!? I want to see the beautiful goddess!”
That stupid womanizer!
Our eyes suddenly met and there was a weird look on his face that made me want to steal the Axe from the chief and hurl it at him. What is he disappointed for!?
“Rose!?” It was Ren.
“No, mortal.” I said solemnly and raised my hands dramatically towards the sky. “It is I, Goddess Roselia, who have descended from the heavens and possessed this beautiful lady-” I gestured towards myself. “-in order to serve these lovely people.”
“Are you hallucinating again?” Ace was unimpressed at my acting and was looking at me tiredly.
I clenched my fist in anger but I was still smiling. I twirled and danced around until I was standing a few feet from them. “Mortal, it is rude to assume that a goddess is hallucinating.” Then I faked a sob and placed a hand to my heart. “How it pains me that the body of this lovely young woman that I am possessing is being verbally abused.” I hiccup for more dramatic effect. Then I carefully peaked at them to see their reaction.
They were staring at me suspiciously. “Rose, drop the act. We know it is you.” Nate says.
“No it’s not. I am a goddess. See my flower crown?”
“See my tied fist that will soon fly to your face?” Ace dared.
“Hey, is that Prince Fred?” Nate says looking at someone in front of him. I followed his gaze and stopped when I realized what he was doing and glared at him. Nate only gave me an innocent smile.
“Silence!” The chief bellowed and he suddenly turned to face me. Then he looked at the man beside him. The one named after poop. “Son, is she really the goddess?”
“Yes, father. She even got the troublesome vengeful spirit of the vulture that can turn invisible. An arrow was shot and it landed cleanly in between its eyes.” My eyes widened and so did the princes.
That was a vengeful spirit!? Wow, my luck sure is powerful on this side of the realm.
I felt the princes looking at me now with wide eyes and I had to wipe away the surprised look on my face and replace it with a kind and innocent smile. Whatever was happening, it was clearly favoring my side so I am taking it.
“You people must have mistaken her for someone.”
“It’s probably a fluke. No. I am certain that it is a fluke. Ask her to do it again.”
“Tell us now if she is threatening you to say those things. Or if she is feeding you something funny.”
Geez, these princes just have no confidence in me!
“Goddess!” I jumped a little as the chief looked at me with tearful eyes. Oh boy. I watched as he wiped them away and sniffed loudly. “Thank you for your kindness and for liberating our tribe! How can we ever thank you!?”
I gently held a palm up while still managing to keep my graceful image in check. “Please. I did it out of the goodness in my heart. No need to thank me.” I said. The princes gave me a look again, in which I really hoped that they would stop because it was really getting on my nerves.
“No, Goddess. Please. At least let my son Fical accompany you on your stay here. If you need anything, just call out to him.” Says the chief.
“F-Fecal?” There was a hiccup as someone was trying to cover their laugh. I swear it wasn’t me this time. I was able to bite my lips on time. All heads turned towards Ren who was red as he really tried to hide his laugh.
I am very proud to say that I was currently looking at Ren right now with a straight face.
Ren coughed. “Sorry...sorry. I guess it is now your ‘duty’ to serve the goddess then.”
A laugh erupted from my throat as I did not expect Ren to be so shameless and openly make a joke about poop. I immediately composed myself and covered my mouth and cleared my throat. “Excuse me. The wind is getting to my throat. I think I am thirsty.”
“GET HER SOME WATER!” The chief screamed and suddenly, I was handed a cup of water.
“Thanks.” I said gratefully and was only starting to take a sip of water when I felt the princes’s gaze on me. I turned my eyes in their direction as I almost choked when I saw the evil gazes and smiled that they were giving me. Apparently, they caught me laughing at Ren’s Fecal joke - and they were not going to let this pass.
What are they up to now?
“Wow, ‘Goddess.’ You’re looking ‘flushed’. Are you sure you are alright?” Ace askes, and I made a choking sound as I tried to make by breathing steady.
It’s not funny. Nope.
“PRINCE Ace, you rarely joke, but when you do, you ‘crack’ me up.” Nate chuckled.
F*ckin Hell.
“Too bad that she doesn’t even give a ‘crap’ about your joke.” Ren says.
“Werewolf boy, you haven’t even confessed but I think she already ‘dumped’ you.”
“PRINCE Ace, you are such a ‘party pooper’.”
“Well this conversation is getting ‘wiped’ real quick.” Nate commented as he looked at the two princes glaring at each other.
I started wheezing as tears started to form in my eyes.
“Fine! You know what? I am calling off all this ‘shit’. Because poop jokes are not funny!” At PRINCE Ace’s declaration, Ren and I gasped at the same time as if the statement alone somehow offended us.
“How dare you.” I whispered and dropped the cup as I pointed a finger at him. “You take that back!”
“Well, hello there, Rose.” PRINCE Ace says with a smirk. It was then that I realized that I acted out of my Goddess character just to defend poop jokes.
Darn it! But it was a necessity. It was a sacrifice that I was willing to make.
I gulped and smiled sheepishly at them. In return they all have these victorious looks on their faces for being successful at making me reveal my true nature. Stupid arrogant smarty pants!
I looked at the crowd forming around us. I have to talk to the princes privately. I have to think of something. What do goddesses usually do? I tried to think of something and only one idea came into my mind. I suddenly let out a very loud gasp as I dramatically fell to the ground. Everyone was stunned - except for the princes who only raised an eyebrow at me. They probably know that I am making up some bullsh*t again. Get it?
“Goddess, are you alright!?” Fical tried to run to my side but I held up a hand to stop him.
“You must not go any further! I am sensing some demonic miasma from these three men!” I gestured towards the princes, who now seemed offended at my accusations.
“The only one being possessed by stupidity and bullsh*t is you.” Ace said.
“SILENCE!” I yelled at him and immediately composed myself to get into character. Damn it PRINCE Ace! He really isn’t making it easy for me.
“Goddess, is there anything that we can do to stop this?” One of the villagers asked me worriedly.
“Yes.” I said and got up. I used my link to my familiar and called out to him. Immediately, Custard came running over to me with his head and neck full of flower crowns.
‘Master, you called? Oh wow! You found the princes.’ He yipped happily and lolled his head to the side with his tail wagging happily. I stared at him. Stared at my familiar for a few seconds and studied at the flower crowned and braided fur. Well he obviously had a great time.
I looked back to the people and gestured towards my familiar. “I want you all to prepare an empty tent where I will cleanse the demon possessed people. No one must come near the tent or even think of looking at it. If you do, you will get possessed and my spirit wolf will sense it and will have to eat you. No other way. Period.” I said and clapped my hands together to make them move. “Okay, people! We have work to do. Hurry up while I stop the demonic air from flowing!” I removed my flower crown and started shaking it around as I walked and shimmied around the princes. As I did, the petals started to fall and rain on top of their heads.
“Just kill me!” Ace screamed.
***
I looked out of the Curtain and I saw Custard nodding approval at him. I returned the gesture before looking back at the princes. “Okay. Coast is clear.” I said and came to untie the ropes holding their hands back.
Nate was massaging his wrist when he turned to look towards me. “I suppose I would be speaking for all of us when I say...HOW?!”
“You have to be more specific on that, Nate.” I told him.
“Goddess Rose?”
“Ahh. I see. I accidentally broke a sacred statue and climbed on its pedestal when I broke it. Then these people came and thought that I was the Goddess.” I chuckled. “I did try to deny it but I was laughing at Fecal’s name an-” Nate slapped a hand over my mouth to stop me from talking.
“Yeah okay. Not really the answer that we were looking for.”
“What he means is that why didn’t you come looking for us or leave this place?” Ren asked and crossed his arms over his chest. His biceps showing at the movement.
“I can’t just leave when the chalice is here.” I said and saw the surprised look on the princes’s faces. “Oops. I probably should have started on that,” I chuckled.
“Obviously!” Ace hissed.
“Well sorry! I was just waiting for the chief to arrive so I can talk to him and ask for the chalice. I really was going to clear things up until you guys showed up!”
“So what now?” Nate asked and glanced at us worriedly.
I sighed. “Look. Can you guys just follow me? I have this covered. All you three have to do is to follow my lead.” When I looked up at them, their mouths were wide open and Ace had to cover his lips with a fist. “What?” I demanded.
“Now I am starting to question if you are Rose or the actual goddess.” Nate says, which made me kick his legs.
After that, we all came out of the tent and I proclaimed that they were all purified by my preaching. The princes were escorted for a bath while I was busy being prepared for the celebratory feast that the chief has in store for me. It would seem that I would not be able to talk to him until the banquet.
Night time came and my hair was neatly braided and adorned with a lot of fresh flowers. They even gave me some gold jewelry that were heavier than the ones back in Thalia. Soon, the ladies carried me to a large area where there were a few wooden tables and chairs were lined. They brought me to the one at the center where I was sitting in a wide chair with a lot of servants beside me.
I finally saw the princes sitting to my far left. All of them shirtless and only wearing brown leather shorts made of animal skin. I can see a bunch of ladies swooning at them. Ren and Ace were very much uninterested in them while Nate was grinning and winking from here and there.
I hope he won’t do anything stupid.
I snapped my finger. “Grape me.” I said to one of the ladies. She took a grape from a bowl and fed me one. I moaned at the juicy goodness of the fruit when I saw the princes were giving me looks again.
What’s their problem now?
“Attention, everyone!” The chief yelled while standing near a bonfire. “This celebration is dedicated to our dear goddess! Who not only descended from the heavens to help us, but also liberated us from one of the many evil spirits that have pestered our tribe. And as chief of this tribe, I will bestow upon her the honor of this wine!” As soon as he said that, a servant handed me a chalice with some sort of liquid in it. I took it and smelled the liquid inside. I grimaced and looked at the princes for help. I saw their eyes widened and they were aggressively pointing at the chalice on my hand.
I frowned. So they want me to drink the wine. Is that it? Well I guess a sip will do since I don’t want to be rude.
“A toast! To our goddess who came from the heavens!” The chief said and raised his own glass. The others followed him and raised their own as well before taking a drink.
Well here goes nothing.
I closed my eyes and took a sip as well, but I could not bring myself to swallow the alcoholic liquid since it did not taste good. I simply kept it in my mouth and glanced at the princes to see if they were drinking. Still, they were pointing at my cup, while Ace simply gave up and buried his head in his hands.
I gave them all an apologetic look and shook my head. I can't swallow alcohol! It does not taste good!
Nate face palmed while Ren let out a frustrated grunt. Suddenly, Ace looked up. “Hey GODDESS. What a pretty chalice you have there!!” He yelled. “I suggest that you MARVEL AT ITS BEAUTY!”
I raised a brow. And looked at the chalice. As soon as I did, I opened my mouth in shock and the wine spilled back into the cup when I saw that what I have in my hands is - in fact - the wooden chalice.